The Weeks before

Hello to whoever takes the time to read this and welcome to the beginning of my journey from obesity and stress-headedness to (hopefully!) slimness and organised simplicity using the aid of Lighter Life.
I am a 27 year old married gal, given to extremes in most areas of my life but particularly with food. I love food. It is my friend and silent foe who lures me in with promises of wonderful carb and sugar satisfaction and makes me feel in control of myself, and only then lets on that the bad side effects are much worse than the eating - a notion conveniently forgotton by the next time a binge is due....
After years of trying to analyse my eating I have come to the conclusion that my overeating is separated into 2 categories. The first one is the general day to day overeating such as having 2 or 3 biscuits instead of one and having the same (huge) sized portions as my energetic and fit husband and doing very little exercise. This is the part that I can control which has enabled me to lose small amounts (1-2 stones) in the past. The second category is the Binge Eating Category which scares the hell out of me because I just can't seem to control this part no matter what! It's like I am compelled to plan a binge, shop for a binge, eat the binge, dispose of the binge evidence and once these rollers are in motion there's nothing I can do to stop it short of gluing up my mouth.
I've reached another crises point in my life when I got weighed recently and am the heaviest I've ever been at around 19 stones. Yuck. It feels awful writing that, realising that people will probably read it - I would be soooo embarrassed if anyone I knew realised I weighed that much. At 5' 7" and with a BMI of 42 ish I know my health and quality of life are and will continue to be compromised and something has got to give.
The LL diet with the abstinence and the counselling seem just what the doctor ordered, in theory. I am so looking forward to beginning this new lifestyle I cannot even express it properly. To have the choices of types and quantities of foods removed from me, in conjunction with the counselling sessions to target why I compulsively binge eat will be magic and, as my lovely scottish husband often says, "I cannae wait"!
The South Wales group is not due to start for another couple of weeks at least, though, so I'm a bit frustrated as I really want to get cracking so I can lose a good lot of weight before our holiday in September to Italy. I recieved the forms today to take to the doctors to make sure I'm ok to do the diet. Bit nervous about this though - what if they say it's a very bad idea to do a VLCD and don't let me on?
Anyway - let's have a bit more 'glass half full' philosophy. People say you create your own luck, so a bit of positive thinking will do the trick, I'm sure. (well, almost sure - it's hard to change when you're a hardened pessimist...).
Will let you know tomorrow how the docs goes. xx